Too close for comfort

Every time I look outside it’s like we’re under attack.

Time lapse of what it would look like if I stood at the top of my street for a few hours and every thing around me moved super fast like in that one episode of Duck Tales where Scrooge saw his entire vault get emptied out in a matter of seconds.

On the bright side, the air quality in L.A. is already shit so I doubt this will make it much worse.


Today, after a lunch time chat with someone going through some roommate issues, I started thinking back to the last time I had roommates. It was the worst. To be fair, it was probably more my fault than theirs. I can’t imagine I’m the easiest dude to live with.

A point proven by this email I sent my last roommate after seeing him take his laptop into the bathroom…

bathroom email

Or this email I sent him while he had some friends over on a Tuesday night…

I hate you

And just so the blame isn’t entirely on my shoulders, here is what I once woke up to find on the living room floor after one of my two roommates moved out…

Free Shit

true life is more embarrassing than fiction

Today, for lunch, I ate a sandwich with only mustard because I couldn’t get the lid off the mayonnaise jar this morning.

Yeah Right

New Radiohead Song

You should go download it.
You can get it here Really. It was their idea.

fucking pussy

If you can’t get it done with the house and a filibuster proof senate you don’t deserve it.

Good compromise Rahm. You’re a genius.

Love my job

These are the last two updates on the company’s admin site


How I spent my weekend


Web 2.0 Embarrassment

I got an email from my insurance agent today asking for the correct VIN for my Accord since I apparently gave her the wrong one a little bit ago. I obviously didn’t know it off the top of my head but I was pretty sure I had emailed it to myself a couple months ago. A quick gmail search for ‘Honda Accord’ brought up this gem of a survey I had filled out for myspace back in 2004. Good God…

  1. Do you like ketchup on or beside your French fries? My roommates
    like tartar with their fries….they are also hyped to have a super
    bowl party so you can imagine what assholes they are.
  2. Have you ever put your tongue on a frozen pole? Fuck you
  3. Have you ever blown bubbles in your milk? Yeah…..I use to be
    pretty laid back
  4. Would you rather eat an apple or a pear? eat the pear and use the
    apple to smoke weed out of
  5. Have you ever gone skinny-dipping? I’ve never done anything skinny
  6. If you could be any age, what would you be? 22
  7. What is your dream car? Gold 95 Honda Accord LX
  8. What is your favorite tv show of all time? Growing Pains
  9. Do you prefer scrambled or fried eggs? whatever she offers
  10. Would you rather be bitten by a poisonous snake or constricted by
    a python? eaten by an anaconda while in the jungle with Ice Cube
  11. Which would you rather live with: a huge nose or crossed eyes? Huge nose….just cause I’ve gotten used to it already
  12. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Yes if she’s reading this, no if she’s not.
  13. If you were in a car sinking in a lake, what would you do first? Finish my beer

The only thing more embarrassing than some of these answers is the fact that I used to fill one of these out every week. +1 for social networking.

For Those Who Missed It

Phil’s speech at my wedding. I love you, man.

Wedding Poem

Lesson Learned

Next time you get that craving for Pizza Rolls, don’t get the store brand variety. Even if they’re on sale for 2 for $3. Suck it up and reach for the bag that says Totino’s. It’s not worth the $2.29 difference to be cheap.

Pizza Rolls

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