Sunday, September 30, 2007
Ahhh Growing Up
I can't use Windows. My cat ate my mouse.
The Cat I.Q. Test. A book that was handed to me at a bar. It belonged to someone, but they had left it, and now it was in my hands. Strange enough, I was the only one with a cat. That could have been why, out of all my friends, I was handed the book. The picture on the cover first grabbed my attention but then my eyes shifted to the words below it. “Measure your cat’s brainpower and social skills and discover your strengths as an owner.” My first thought was me trying to get to know my cat. I recall picturing my self sitting on my bed and talking to
my cat, as he sat there, not responding, but understanding what I was saying...
You'll find enough multiple answer questions, pie charts, bar graphs, and the kind of graphs you see in business meetings to help find your strengths as an owner and to determine if your cat is the next
Dan Quail or the next
Ken Jennings.
Here’s a sample question from the book.
44. if your cat could read, which of the following newspapers would it probably buy?
A. The Wall Street Journal
B. The New York Times
C. USA Today
D. The Star
p.s. Look forward to results.
p.s.s. The previous book owner circled "B" for this question.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Important Statistic of the Week
Nine out of every ten people are raped in their sleep by there best friend.
Just something to think about as you pass out on your friends couch.
The Piano Man
Billy Joel will be
crashing his Mercedes-Benz into the Key Arena November 8th. It's gonna be hard to top the 2001 show with Elton John, especially with him now allegedly being
sober. Whatever the case, I was up at 10am this morning scooping up the best seats in the house. Sleep or don't sleep, I'm keeping the faith:
Friday, September 28, 2007
DAMN!
Next time you want to focus your board cause you can't switch tre flip ten first try, don't.
This kid is the gnarliest skater I've seen in a long time.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Scene of the Week
Not to geek out on Wes Anderson with two posts in a row but when an exchange of dialogue overshadows Natalie Portman's bare ass you know you have a scene on your hands:
Natalie: Whatever happens, man... I don't want to lose you as a friend.
Jason: I promise... I will never be your friend. No matter what. Ever.
Natalie: If we fuck I am going to feel like shit tomorrow.
(Long pause)
Jason: That's OK with me.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Hotel Chevalier
You fans of Wes Anderson probably knew that his new film, The Darjeeling Limited, was going to have a 13 minute short shown before it in theaters. You probably also knew those plans were cancelled (unless you see it at one of those fancy festivals). Basically, it's a short epilogue on one heartbreaking history of love and the prologue of the travel told in The Darjeeling Limited.
Lucky for all of us, it's now available for free on iTunes. Get hyped
here.
p.s. There is another link for all of you without an apple i.d. but why the fuck wouldn't you have an apple i.d.?
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
They Can't Always be wrong?
With Iranian President Mahmud Ahmadinejad taking a lot of heat lately (see:
Holocaust denial,
the execution of homosexuals, and his vow to
wipe Israel off the Map) it's sometimes hard to notice the amazing social advances the country has to offer:
Iran's Interior Minister, Mostafa Pour-Mohammadi, has started promoting temporary marriage as a solution to the country's social problems...Shia Islam allows a man and woman to marry for a fixed period of time, ranging from an hour to a century.
So you have a minute to consummate the marriage and another 59 to look for a new one. God bless Iran.
Link
Meet Riley...
A Canadian who has lived in Japan for the past few years. I can't begin to describe the level this dude is on. The good news? He has a blog. Here's a quick look into his mind....
"we go back to the dorm and the chinese guy invited me into his room so i went in. then he pulled down his pants and he had a small boner."
Maybe He Saw Superbad One Too Many Times
Original artwork by Phillip L. Kammer
Preeeeetty Good
Thank God for this man.... Seriously. After the Flight of the Conchords came to an (amazing) end I thought my Sunday nights were blown. NOPE! Only three episodes deep and this season of Curb Your Enthusiasm is looking like it may be the best ever. Now if only Tell Me You Love Me showed penetration and/or Extras would come back for another season, I'd be the happiest hipster on Capitol Hill.
If Only...
I'm not usually one for collaborations but this is something I could definitely get behind.
The Perfect Orgasm
Many of you are probably already aware of Joan Elizabeth Lloyd. Her books "Nice Couples Do It; 52 Saturday Nights," and "The Price of Pleasure" have rocked the orifices of couples everywhere. Her newest book "The Perfect Orgasm: How to Get It, How to Give it" surely lives up to the long awaited hype. Lloyds sex positive advice doesn't chastise readers for not knowing where the G-Spot is or what the clitoris does (which I found particularly refreshing). Her calm, collective, reassuring prose slowly builds confidence in the reader unleashing their wolf inside.
Ladies look out.
Halo, my old friend.
Dear Halo 3,
Oh, you are so nice to me. With new weapons, improved levels, and better online play. Oh how I loved to be back in my Banchi flipping and rolling towards my next target. I threw a bubble shield for the first time today only to find out my enemies can come in side my bubble and kill me. I wasn't completely protected but when I spawned back to the same spot I blind sided the brute with a Gravity Hammer! The sound alone forced me to continue my slaying of those little triangle headed aliens. Gadgets, replay, and map forging brought tears to my eyes. I will fall asleep tonight with the game main menu song on only to help my dreams become more like you.
p.s.
I'm falling asleep in my Halo helmet you included in the $150 game package. You really out did yourself. 10/10
Monday, September 24, 2007
Lawrence Buttercup Sex Tape
Notable Capitol Hill Hipster, Phillip Lawrence is in the news this week after a recent sex-tape featuring him and White Stripes drummer Meg White was leaked on the Internet. The tape is believed to have been leaked by Ms. White herself after their passionate relationship ended publicly at the Cha Cha this past Tuesday.
Phil has denied such rumors saying "the production values would have been much higher" had it been a "Lawrence Buttercup Production."
You be the judge:
http://www.celebritycowboy.com/lawrence-buttercup-sex-tape.htmDeveloping...
Sunday, September 23, 2007
God Called and asked for his Blog Back
To which I respectfully told him that we were taking his shit over for a while-- and he should probably just save his dignity and get lost. To his credit, he only threw a brief lightning bolt tantrum before quietly ascending back into the clouds.
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