Teenager Ashleigh Morris can't go swimming, soak in a hot bath or enjoy a shower after a stressful day's work - she's allergic to water. Even sweating brings the 19-year-old out in a painful rash.
She makes sure she stays in air-conditioned places and always has an umbrella in her car. Her family and boyfriend of three years, Adam, 23, are very supportive but her condition makes intimate moments with her Adam a little difficult.
"We have to sleep with a sheet between us at night, and I can't go near him if he's sweaty," said Ashleigh.
Terrill, I'm so proud of you! Last year when those pants started getting a little snug around your nutsack I couldn't understand what you were doing but now I see it was all part of something bigger. All those v-neck tees and nights at the Cha Cha (excuse me, I mean the "Cha") have paid off and you have received the highest honor a hipster can get. The cover of the SingSing flyer. And you're drinking a Pabst too! It doesn't get any better. I really feel it's the perfect way to send you off to Williamsburg, NY next week whos hipster ratio makes Capitol Hill's seem like Enumclaw. If you ever have trouble getting into Maxx Fish just show them this flyer. I'm assuming you're going to laminate it because God (known to you as Chromeo) knows I would.
Good luck in NY buddy, we're gonna miss you (but not your snaking at the skate park).
The Los Angeles Times is reporting that “Josh Romney, one of former Gov. Mitt Romney’s five sons, says it’s ‘possible’ his father may rejoin the race for the White House.” Earlier this month, Romney “suspended” his campaign and endorsed Sen. John McCain’s (R-AZ) bid a week later. But Romney has yet to comment on the recent New York Times article on McCain’s close ties to lobbyists and “still retains control of the nearly 300 delegates he’s already won.”
Good news for Anthony as the five hundred dollars he donated to Romney's campaign wont be in vain.
Why does Warner Brothers always fuck with the stars? After the first initial test screenings late last year, Warner Brothers is pushing back the release of Spike Jonze's Where The Wild Things Are to 2009 with talk of completely re-shooting the movie. The reason WB is so upset with the final product? Apparently it's too adult and the monsters are too scary for kids and some even started to cry during the screening and asked their parents to leave.
Fuck you crybabies, I'm trying to see this shit. Let's hope Spike has final cut. Last week a test shot from the movie was leaked to the Internet and it looks rad. Spike said the only reason for this shot was to get footage to their FX guy to see if they'd be able to create the creatures the way they wanted.
On this weeks two hour commercial for Subway the contestants were put to the ultimate test when they were told they would be leaving the ranch for the week and returning home to their families, and their old habits. Once home, we the viewers learned that these contestants have some shitty people in their life. Who the fuck holds various baked goods under the noses of people trying to lose weight? Come on!
Even though brothers Jay and Mark are total douchbags I will say their families were very supportive and made sure they watched what they ate and worked out. I did feel bad for Mark’s 4-year-old son though when Mark chased him around the house and wouldn’t let him eat a doughnut. Bummer kid.
At home with Bernie, his girlfriend took him back to his favorite bakery where they named a cupcake after him. That’s not fucked up at all.
Dan was excited he got to see his mom since she was eliminated a few weeks ago and the two of them made as good a team as ever. The only time he slipped up in Bob’s eyes was when he had a few glasses of wine. Lighten up Bob.
Britney did fine at home but it turns out she’s a total bitch. I cover that later.
Jenn did fine at home also and worked out with her eliminated teammate Maggie. They went to Maggie’s gym and Jenn said she felt like she was cheating on Jillian by working out with another trainer. Unless you’re sleeping with Jill, I think you’re fine.
Paul and Kelly… Even though they both live in Florida they didn’t have contact with each other. Kelly did great on her own but Paul really let me (and the rest of America) down. Dude was having all he could eat wings, drinking soda and relaxing in hot tubs. His girlfriend wasn’t helping handing him those wings and his friends are pieces of shit for bringing him cake but nobody had a gun to his head. On top of that, he was avoiding Jillian’s phone calls all week.
Back at the ranch, the trainers were mostly disappointed with they way their team acted at home. Who knows why? At this weeks challenge, the teams went head to head jumping over and then ducking under a rotating bar of some sort. Boring. Either way Black won when Britney (the whore) outlasted Jay on the black team. Their prize was choosing two members of the blue team to weigh in 24 hours early. They choose Dan and Roger. Dan kept up his pace and lost 11bs while at home and Roger crushed it losing 16lbs. The next day Mark showed he lost 13lbs and Jay, who hasn’t lost more than 5lbs in one week his whole time at the ranch, finally put up a big number and lost 16lbs. Black’s total was 56lbs. Blue team didn’t stand a chance. I think they lost 20lbs or something between the 5 of them with Kelly losing the most and being immune from elimination.
During the hour long time the team had to choose who to send home, We saw Bernie, Jenn, and Britney laughing and saying “well we know who’s going home”. The fools have some sort of alliance and knew Paul was going home. Paul knew that too and at the elimination table sported his old Yellow jersey and said he didn’t feel like he was a part of the Blue team. Britney (the whore) took this as a slap to the face and started saying that I can’t believe you would wear that jersey, that’s not teamwork, how dare you, I’m definitely voting for you. You bitch, you voted for him 30 minutes earlier. Then while Paul was pouring his heart out She was making faces and rolling her eyes the whole time. Fuck you.
Forget her Paul. You're show her, you're show everybody, at the finale.
Once upon a time I worked in a law firm with a lawyer we’ll call James. One day I walked into the bathroom and James was at one of the urinals. Since there were only two, I had no choice but to stand next to him as I took a piss. This sort of thing annoys me because that’s my “me” time and I’m not trying to share it with anyone. Now unless it’s Kyle asking me to play swords, I tend not to talk while standing next to someone in a public bathroom and I appreciate it when others follow the same guidelines. I was in the middle of thinking that very thought when James turned to me and said “Do you ever start going number 1 and then realize you have to go number 2?” and without giving me time to drop my jaw he zipped up his pleated khakis and walked into a stall leaving me to pee in peace.
HAVANA (AP) - Ailing leader Fidel Castro resigned as Cuba's president from nearly a half-century early Tuesday, saying in a letter published in online official media that he would not accept a new term when the newly elected parliament meets on Sunday.
Last year lil' B found a red mesh jersey that said Capitol Hill on it. Luckily it was number 40 and he quickly wrote "ounce" under it in permanent marker and proceeded to wear it every day for the next 6 months. Then, tragedy... Lil' B lost it. The jersey was gone. Lil' B then did what anyone would (hopefully) do and got it tattooed on his arm.
This just further proves my point that 16 year olds always have the best tattoos. Always.
Hop over to KnickerPicker.com and dress up models 1, 2 & 3 in all your favorite garter belts and knickers. Make sure and turn her around for a reverse angle.
Now if I can just find a site that lets me play "doctor"with all the neighborhood girls I can finally relive all my favorite childhood games without going to jail.
I have this thing. Whenever I am on a friends computer and that particular friend walks out of the room, the first thing I do is open their Iphoto to quickly check and see if-- in pure haste-- that friend naively forgot to separate the anniversary pictures of his naked girlfriend from the Christmas karaoke photos of him and his boss. Sometimes I get lucky and never look at their girlfriends the same.
Sometimes however, I find a clip like this:
(Click on image to play movie)
I don't know what disappointed me more. The fact that the pizza on Anthony's nipple didn't foreshadow the kind of kinky food sex scene I was envisioning in my head, the fact that I think I hear Barbra Streisand's "The Way We Were" in the background, or the fact that-- at the very least-- Anthony didn't move the pizza off his chest so I could see his nipple.
2. It doesn't look like we really update our blog anymore and I don't want to be the good looking rebel going against the grain. Phil, Kyle... Prove me wrong.
Back to the show... After coming off a tough loss at last week's weigh-in and saying good-bye to his mom, Dan was pretty pissed off at his team. He said he felt alone and Bob let him know he was there for him. Get real.
The challenge this week was some balance beam bullshit with some weight or something. I think I was surfing Redtube.com during that part of the show. I did see that the Black team won.
Also, there was no temptatioin challenge this week. Get it together NBC.
Blue team swore to Bob they were going to win this weeks weigh in.
Jillian brought her mom in to give the team some therapy. There were a lot of tears, just not on my side of the TV.
At the weigh-in Black started off strong with Bernie, Kelly and Paul losing 7, 8 and 10 pounds. Then Britney and Maggie lost a combined total of 3 pounds and it wasn't looking good for the Black team. Next up, Blue team needed to lose 35 pounds to send the Black team to elimination. After Mark, Dan, Trent and Roger there were at 30lbs. All Jay had to do was lose 5 pounds and they were safe. Dude blew it, only losing 4 for the whole week. Bob was so pissed he just walked out.
At elimination, Trent said he missed his family, didn't care about the money and just wanted to get healthy which he could do at home and sacrificed himself. Stand up dude, right there.
Trent, you're obviously in this for the right reason and you may have just bumped Dan down to number two on my favorite list. Look foward to seeing you at the finale.
p.s. How funny is that photo?
p.p.s. They said something about sending all the contestants home for a week next episode so that may be good. If NTF has started to blog again by then I might let you know how it went.
5. Your girlfriend actively cheats on you and brags to you about it. 4. Your girlfriend poops. 3. The first song on your girlfriend's sex playlist is Creed.
2. Not making it all the way through the first song, Creed ends up being the last song on your girlfriend's sex playlist.
1. You look at your girlfriend's face while cuming to Creed.
Sorry this is a few days late but I needed to gather my thoughts after this weeks roller coaster. After last weeks crushing lost, Jillian needed to figure out what was going with her black team. After a serious conversation with them, she found out that some of them were just not eating. Sometimes eating as little as 500 calories a day. Now everyone should know that that's really going to fuck up your metabolism. No wonder there weren't losing very much weight. Hopefully Jillian set them strait.
I almost forgot! Mark from the blue team starting complaining about his shin and had to go to the hospital where he learned he had a stress fracture. That means no more Precor elliptical work-outs for him (and they're clearly the favorite of the contestants). In fact, the only thing he's able to do is swim in the pool and use the cycle machine. I almost felt bad for him until he started crying while telling his trainer Bob about it. Grow-up baby.
The group then got some good news and some bad news. The good news was there would be no physical challenge this week. Instead, they would be having a cooking challenge. The bad news was they were going to be judged by celebrity douche-bag Rocco Dispirito, and nobody can stand that guy. The guidelines for the cooking challenge were simple, cook a healthy appetizer, entree, and dessert for the pseudo-chef who would then choose the winner based on over-all taste and nutritional value. Oh, and the winning team also had to spend the evening with Rocco cooking dinner which would be reason enough for me to throw the challenge. To be honest, the whole challenge this week was pretty boring and all it did was get me excited for the Top Chef 4 premiere (March 12 on Bravo). In the end, the black team won with some shrimp starter, a filet mignon main course, and some sort of yogurt bullshit for dessert.
On to the good part... This weeks weigh in was suspenseful as always. Blue team walked into it full of confidence and you knew they didn't have a worry in the world. That is until they started stepping on the scale. Nobody on the team was really putting up big numbers. In fact, the biggest loser on the blue team was Mark, who has a stress facture, losing 9bs. Even though the blue team didn't lose too much weight, the black team was still nervous, especially after the disappointing last week. Well fear not black fans, they killed it. Paul, who gained 3lbs last week, really stepped his game up and lost 12lbs this week but the title of the biggest loser of the week went to Bernie who last 13lbs and sealed the deal of sending the blue team to elimination.
OK, here is where shit got really heavy (no pun intended... or was there?). Knowing how homesick Trent is, Jackie asked him "if we send you home, will you think we don't love you?". He told her he knew they did and that he was OK with that. Then Jackie told the other members on her team that Trent was OK with leaving. Now Jackie is smart and knows not to trust everything she hears so she asks Mark and Jay if they would swear on the lives of their children that they won't vote her off. They both say they do. Remember that. They swore on their children's lives that they would not vote off Jackie. Now it's down to business. At the elimination table Jackie and Dan both show their votes for Trent, apologizing for voting for him. He says he understands. Now it's on to Trent and his team mate Rogers vote. They both choose to send Jackie home. Now that's two for Jackie and two for Trent leaving Mark and Jay's votes to be the ones that matter. No big deal, right? They swore on their children they wouldn't vote for Jackie. HOLY SHIT! They both vote for Jackie simultaneously sending her home and more than likely killing their kids. Nice work dudes. Can't wait for your wives to see that shit.
Now my man Dan is alone but I'm not worried. He's still got this shit.
Fuck Mark and Jay, Jackie. You'll take the $100,000 grand at the finale.
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The AIDS virus can be passed from an infected mother to her baby if she pre-chews the child's food.
"The researchers advise that health care providers and HIV-infected child caregivers should be aware of the potential health risks and should advise those caregivers against the practice of pre-chewing food for their infants," the CDC said.
Elections. Schmeletions. Erections. The only thing that makes today super is the fact that it's National Pancake Day. And as appetizing as Mitt Romney (naked) covered in maple syrup sounds, it's only a mere substitute for a Sweedish Pancake covered with butter and powdered sugar.
Check out all of the fatty festivities at pancakeday.net.
And if you--like me--are planning on breakfast for breakfast, lunch and dinner then follow me over here for the recipe to "Viktoria's Real Sweedish Pancakes."
A couple of nights ago Daina and I were out to dinner with Kyle and his better half Ashley and the topic of food (while we were eating food) came up. Daina had mentioned how the two of us tend to eat at home instead of going out and Kyle asked what we usually make. While naming off the things we enjoy to prepare for dinner we mentioned pizza made from the dough they sell at Trader Joes. This confused Kyle because he has tried to make this same dish before and it has always given him trouble. Well fear TJ's pizza no more, my friend, for I am about to give you my step by step approach to killing it in the kitchen with one of my favorite dinners.
Step 1: This is crucial! Let the dough rest on your counter for 20-25 minutes. Any less and you'll never be able to work that shit. Anymore and it's going to be falling apart in your hands.
Step 2: I don't care how fancy your cutting board is, make sure you get a good layer of flour on it or you may as well Google Pagliacci's phone number.
Step 3: Right out of the bag, the dough is gonna be in a weird shape so work it until you get a fairly even ball.
Step 4: If this is your first time you may want to use a rolling pin (with flour on it). If you watch the food channel a lot like me, feel free to toss that shit in the air. The thinner you can get it the better.
Step 5: Preemptive strike! Once you get a shape you're feeling put that dough on a cooking sheet and poke it aaaaalllll over with a fork. Nothing will bum you out faster than opening your oven door only to find a pizza filled with air pockets.
Step 5.5: Fuck your pizza stone. A plain ol' cooking sheet will work a lot better.
Step 6: E.V.O.O. How ever much you're comfortable with.
Step 7: Sea salt. Not table salt. Not Kosher salt. Sea salt.
Step 8: Fresh or dried basil will both work. Putting it on now before the sauce will only help you.
Step 9: Feel free to use whatever sauce you're into but Trader Joes has some good shit that is located right next to the dough. Jump on it.
Step 10: If you use shredded cheese on your pizza, we can't be friends. If you're into it, buy the buffalo mozzarella that comes in water. Personally, I find a fresh log of whole milk mozzarella works better in my oven.
Step 11: Whoa buddy! Take it easy with the cheese, you don't need that much.
Step 12: Make sure you act like an adult and have your shit pre-heated.
Step 13: This is the hardest part. You gotta wait 12-14 minutes.
