In a pathetic attempt to live passed my 36th birthday I've recently implemented a pretty serious health plan. Not only, I decided, would I eat healthy food immediately after eating unhealthy food but I'd actually get off the bathroom floor and get in shape. After hours and hours on askmen.com and a couple days of spying on Phil Kammers exercise regimen (video to come shortly) I decided that 10 minutes on the Ab Roller and a 2-mile jog around the top of Queen Anne would do the trick .
The first thing I did was go to google maps. I wanted to chart out a route that was exactly two miles, both for ego-- I wanted to blog about running two fucking whole miles-- and sheer laziness-- there was no chance in hell I was taking a step more than those two miles (I charted the route directly to my bed).
Unfortunately (for my diet) I didn't take into account the temptations along my way.
1 Strawberry Surf Rider, 2 Carne Asada Tacos, and a top pot doughnut later, I arrived at home. Being that I'm on a diet immediately went to the refrigerator to eat a bag sugar snap peas.
This shit has kind of been posted everywhere today but I got a kick out of it. Apparently this dude Mike Sacks is some Vanity Fair writer who -- instead of wasting his free-time updating a blog no one reads -- takes photos of his television during opportune moments.
Ballard Denny's To Be Turned Into a Lumberjack Slam
Two months after declaring the defunct Ballard Denny's building a landmark — which, for some, put into question the very meaning of the word — Seattle's Landmarks Preservation Board unanimously said the owner can tear it down.
The board's decision in March to designate the Denny's a landmark was criticized by those who believed the building had lost much of its original Googie-inspired architectural integrity. In the end, the board designated it a landmark not on the basis of architecture, but rather on its visual prominence at Northwest Market Street and 15th Avenue Northwest and its distinctive quality in Ballard.
I take this news a little harder than most. It was here, where at the age of 11, my father first told me I was actually born an underprivileged infant in Sudan before being adopted by an underprivileged family in Everett. It was here where I also had my first Moons over My Hammy.
VATICAN CITY (AP) - The Vatican's chief astronomer says that believing in aliens does not contradict faith in God.
The Rev. Jose Gabriel Funes, the Jesuit director of the Vatican Observatory, says that the vastness of the universe means it is possible there could be other forms of life outside Earth, even intelligent ones.
Bill O'Reilly / Phil Kammer Ain't Got Shit on Jack Rebney the Winnebago Man
Having sold my soul working on corporate videos for most of my adult life, I hold a special place in my heart for the Jack Rebneys of the video production world. It's because of their sheer madness I someday soon will enlist in the military. John McCain 2008!
As I read through the book I saw that it is a wonderful tutorial. It's kind of like a cookbook. Just start at the beginning and do what it tells you in setting up your MySpace profile and then do exactly what it tells you to do to customize your MySpace presence. What it tells you to do might not tweek your profile the way you want it to ultimately be. But you will learn by doing, and when you finish the book you should be knowledgeable and comfortable with the process so you can go back and redo your presence the way you want it to be.
The beauty of this book is it will ultimately teach you the process of putting together Web pages and Web sites if you let it. Then you will be in a great position to build your company's own Web site and blogs outside of the MySpace arena. 5 stars!
Bill O'Reilly Catches Teleprompters Aiding and Embedding Al-qaeda
Before Faux News launched The O’Reilly Factor, Bill-O, America's leading moral authority was a hard-hitting tabloid journalist for Inside edition. It's nice to see that even then did he take a stand against the secular progressives of the world -- known in the "biz" as teleprompter operators.
After being ignored by me all Winter my scooter was, understandably, in desperate need of a tune-up. After pushing our rides 8 blocks to University Yamaha Fourcolor Zack (who needed a tune-up just as bad as me) and I were told we would get our scooters back about 7 days and $183 later.
If that wasn't bad enough, I get a call from Zack a few days later saying he picked his up but mine wasn't ready because they had to replace my brake... a brake that was fine when I brought it in. Clearly this wasn't going to fly with me.
Long story short, I am now banned from University Yamaha and unable to do skids on my scooter. Now what's the point of having a scooter if you can't come to an unsafe screeching stop?
Bill Correll, my great grandpa, will be opening the Mariners game with the opening pitch today. He Just turned 100 and this will be the first time he's been to a Mariners game though he's never missed one on TV. Happy Birthday grandpa (hopefully a future guest blogger) and sorry mom but this kinda overshadows your special day. Maybe next year.
ABOUT THEM: When assigned to do a book report on MY ANTONIA, Luigi and David Du weren't caught up in the hype of a standard 3 page typed report. Going against everything their parents taught them and centuries of the lessons passed on from one generation to the next, Luigi and David Du, out of Kirkland Washington, invite you into their world where boundaries are non existent and all you need to bring is an open mind.
I'm not all too familiar with this series. Apparently it's a sketch comedy show on BBC three. But from what I've seen (just everyone of their clips on youtube upwards of seven times) it's pretty fucking ridiculous. Here's two of my favorites.
According to the BBC, series one will be released on June 16, 2008. Holla.
When I woke up it was around noon and they were gone somewhere. I got out a picture of an old girl of mine I called Marcella and we went to Egypt and made love in a slave-driven boat on the Nile. I drank wine from her sandals and milk from her breasts and then we had the slaves paddle us to the river bank and I fed her the hearts of hummingbirds seasoned in sweetened pigeon milk.
Stay tuned... Next weeks passage is from "Night of The Living Dummy" the seventh book in my favorite literary series: Goosebumps
If We Could Only Bury Every Hipster on the Hill in This Thing (Tomorrow)
Bill Bramanti's favorite beer is Pabst Blue Ribbon. He loves it.
Really loves it.
So much so that he's already had his coffin specially made, and it's designed to look like a can of the trendy brew. Bramanti isn't sick, so he doesn't plan on needing it just yet. For now he plans to use it as a cooler.
I'll admit, it is a great idea. In fact, I am going to start designing mine to look like a booth at Lusty Lady.
This is the last known photo of Anthony. It was taken two weeks ago in Leavenworth, Wa. If you or anyone you know has seen him, please report him to blogger immediately.
-We are leaving. Just found out. Hawaii. I'm a victim. I Leave Sunday. >for what? -Creative get away. -Idea Indian pow wow. >Hahahhaha are you filming? -Bringing the camera but it's not the point. >And worshiping dead cows. -We're bathing Richard in scented oils after we all buy bikes and kool-aid.
3 days later...
>Damn dude you missed out. They gave everyone who was in Seattle today $5000 dollars some kinda tax rebate.
8 days later.
>This is you. (picture a fat monkey tickling his choad) -This is you (picture Ashley pooping in your mouth while riding a big spider getting attacked by cats) >I hate you >I cut a teaser for the Marshall vids. Title: M. Stacks in 3 acts. Like?
